


Messages

by Brynn_writes



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s07e01 It takes A Village, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29764914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brynn_writes/pseuds/Brynn_writes
Summary: JJ wasn't informed that her wife's death was fake.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 1
Kudos: 75





	Messages

_ "Hey, baby, it's me. We just landed, and I'm heading to the car. I think I'm going to crash at mine so that I don't wake you, but I just wanted to let you know we landed, and I missed you. I love you, and I'll see you in the morning." _

_ "Hey, it's me. Listen, it's super early your time, but I just missed you a lot. I need to hear your voice. This case is hard. I love you, and please call me." _

_ "Hey, it's me. I have you on speaker. I'm in the SUV with Morgan and Reid." _

_ "Hi, JJ!" _

_ "We're on our way to the airport. Call me when you get home because Rossi offered to buy us drinks. Love you!" _

_ "Hey. I know you have a shit satellite phone, and you can't even get my calls most of the time, but I miss you so fucking much. I don't know what to do without you. Hotch and Penelope are trying to do your job, but no one can be you. No one can replace you. I sleep with your pillow, but it doesn't smell like you anymore. It's weird, but baby, I need you back. The team doesn't know you're gone, and I have to pretend I don't miss you so fucking much, but I do, and it's tearing me up. I can't sleep without you anymore, and I spend every night just missing you. I know we talk as often as we can, but I miss you, and I miss holding you. Please, stay safe and come home to me. I love you." _

_ "Hey. What I'm about to do is reckless and stupid, but I can't just sit and wait for Doyle to find me anymore. Just...know I love you. I didn't say goodbye in person because you'd lock me in your office and hold me hostage if you knew. I know Hotch is going to call you in. You know all my secrets. Please, please, baby, just let me do this. Be safe. I know you'll come for me. I might not make it, but I can't live in fear, and I can't put you in danger anymore. I love you so much. More than words can say. Please, remember that. Bye." _

JJ held Emily's pillow tighter, hitting play on the first message again. She played these every night, having edited them together so that they all played on a loop. They put her to sleep, helped her pretend Emily was just away on a case. During the day, she played the ones with Henry babbling in the background, when he said 'Mama' for the first time, and then the first 'No,' babbles of 'Hi, Mommy!' that Emily's memory helped her drag on, for their son, for their team. She returned to the BAU, not to be with their family, but to live in the world where she met her wife. When Hotch did the assessments, she'd sat in the chair in his office, numb. She couldn't talk about it. Falling apart wasn't an option. 

When the team found Doyle, she'd given her gun to Reid. She stood in that little room with Erin Strauss, and she gripped the windowsill to keep from barging in and beating him to death in that interrogation room. Hotch gathered them in the roundtable room, and JJ took a seat silently. She felt like throwing up. 

"Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle, but the doctors were able to stabilize her, and she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under covert exfiltration. Her identity was strictly need-to-know, and she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris, where she was issued several identities, none of which we had access to for her security." 

"She's alive?" 

JJ froze. Her breath caught in her throat, and she didn't know what to do with herself. She wanted to slap Hotch across the face. JJ wanted to scream, to cry, but she wasn’t really sure which. When Emily walked through that door, seeming even more anxious than Hotch, JJ couldn't help the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

"On, my God." JJ heard Penelope, but she didn't even register the voice. 

"Emily?" She hated how broken she sounded, and she couldn't stand. Emily was alive. Living, breathing, and standing in the doorway. 

"Jen." Emily dropped her bag, brushing past Derek to kneel in front of JJ's chair. "I'm sorry."

"You...What?" JJ reached forward carefully, brushing her fingers over those perfect cheekbones. "You're real, right, because if this is a dream..."

"I'm real, baby, I'm here." Emily took JJ's hand, squeezing it. "I swear; I'm not going anywhere." 

"Em." JJ sobbed, sliding off her chair and onto the ground, almost tackling her wife with a hug. Soaking Emily's shirt with her tears, JJ held on tight, her head buried in Emily's shoulder. Emily smelled the same, and her arms still felt like home. "I missed you so fucking much."

"I missed you, too. I missed you. I missed you." Emily placed kisses on the side of JJ's head, repeating herself with every kiss. "I missed you. I missed you. I missed you." 

"Never, ever do that again, or you're cut off for life." JJ managed a joke, lifting her head to meet her wife's eyes. "Who the hell's going to believe it when you die for real, baby? That would be the second time. Now, you could die next to me, and I'd still think you were coming back." 

"I know, I guess that just means you've gotta go first, doesn't it?" Emily laughed, tucking JJ's hair behind her ear. "I love you."

"I love you, too." JJ laughed, pressing a kiss to Emily's lips. 

"God, you're so beautiful." Emily brushed tears off of JJ's cheeks, placing a gentle kiss on the blonde's forehead. "I missed that smile."

"You're such a dork." JJ shook her head, tackling Emily in another embrace. The two fell, Emily on her back with JJ thrown over her. They held on tight, unwilling to let go so soon. 

"I hate to do this, but..." Hotch trailed off, a rare smile on his lips. 

"Keep talking. I'm listening." JJ mumbled, content in Emily's arms. 

"Can we at least sit in a chair, Jen? I've been on a plane for eight and a half hours." Emily teased, running her hands through soft, blonde hair. 

"And then we go home? JJ asked hopefully, head buried in the crook of Emily's neck. 

"And then we go home," Emily confirmed, her arms tight around JJ's waist. She was home.

_ “Hey, baby. It’s me. I’m on my way back. The tattoo artist did such a good job! I can’t believe this is all over sometimes. I’m going to stop and grab lunch for us, and we can hide out in your old office. I missed that. Love you!” _

_ “JJ! I got offered the unit chief job! I know it’s bittersweet because Hotch is gone, but I’m so glad they’re promoting from within. I can’t turn it down, can I? I don’t know. We can talk when I get home. I’m excited, you know? I’m just worried about everyone else with the change. I love you!” _

_ “Hey, I’m just letting you know we’re going to be late. I’m headed to the airport, but it looks like we may be grounded. I’ll call you from the jet if we are, and you three can keep me entertained. Hey, how did Henry’s science fair go? I know you can’t answer, but I hope he had fun. It’s funny how our kids take after Spence more than us. Anyways, I’m about to get to the airport. I love you!” _

_ “Hey, babe, I’m headed to the grocery store. I’m just calling to see if you need anything. Cravings? I dunno. Whatever that baby wants, she gets. Don’t you tell me we don’t know the gender. She’s a girl. Call me back if you or the boys need anything, okay? I shouldn’t be long. We really only need milk and eggs right now. I’ll see you in like an hour. Love you!” _

_ “Jay! Ros just laughed! Listen. Roslyn, are your brothers being silly? Yes, yes!” A baby’s laugh sounded through the phone. “It’s so cute! I can’t believe she’s ours. That’s the coolest thing ever! I know I say it all the time, but thank you for doing this for me. I know you were done after the boys. Okay, you’re working, so I’m going to hang up. I love you more than I can say. Ros! Say bye-bye, Mommy!” _

JJ kissed her sleeping daughter’s forehead, pocketing her phone. She listened to these messages just to remind herself this was all real. They made her smile, almost as much as Emily did. 

“Baby? Come to bed.” Emily appeared in the doorway, wearing her silk pajamas and a tired little smile as she held out her arms for her wife. JJ smiled back, stepping into Emily’s embrace and burying her face in her neck. 

Emily’s once long, black hair was cut short, greying, and JJ loved it. The lines around her eyes had deepened, a permanent reminder that she wasn’t as young as she once was. Emily hated it, but JJ loved the way her eyes looked when she smiled, the gray in her hair was soft and beautiful. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Emily mumbled against JJ’s hair, pressing kisses to the top of the blonde’s head. 

“How much I love you. How beautiful you are.” JJ replied simply, reveling in the safety of Emily’s arms.

“I love you too, baby. Let’s go to bed, huh?” Emily asked, earning a nod in response. “You listened to the messages again.”

“Yeah. I like them.” JJ shrugged, following their wife into their bedroom. Emily smiled as she pulled back the covers of their bed, climbing in and holding out her arms. JJ followed Emily, draping herself over her wife’s chest.

The JJ who fell asleep to hopeful messages from her wife was a distant memory. Now, when her eyes fluttered shut, it was to the sound of Emily's heartbeat, to the feeling of love and safety, and home that she'd missed more than anything. Years had passed, and old wounds had healed. JJ drifted off, the last thing that reached her ears being her wife's soft breathing.


End file.
